I wrote this a couple years ago on my other blog, and I decided to re-post it. I had the idea to write something similar today, and suddenly I realized why it seemed so familiar: I had already written it! So there you have it, I hope you agree that it was worth the re-post.
Your guide to success as you embark on your next adventure after high school.
Hello there, new college freshmen! I have compiled a list of what I think are some valuable tips that will help you navigate this big, scary world. Whether you’re headed for the community college down the street or the Ivy Leagues, this comprehensive guide will lead you through a successful freshman year.
1. Forget about sleep. Everyone says sleep is so important, blah blah blah, but we all know there are much more important (and memorable) ways to spend those 7-9 hours. Examples:
- Eating Nutella from a spoon in your kitchen
- Spying on other dorms from your window
- Driving around barking at people
- Watching this video:
- Or this video:
- Or this video:
- Need I mention Netflix?
- Reading your textbooks? No. If you get to that point, you’d better just go to sleep. You won’t remember what you read in the morning anyway.
6. You CAN read while listening to music. You won’t take it in. But guess how much it matters. Guess. GUESS.
IT DOESN’T MATTER.
7. Don’t wear sweats to class? Look presentable? More like wear whatever you want cause class is nap time AM I RIGHT?!?!?!
9. Greater satisfaction comes from cooking a meal without using a single cutting board than passing any number of difficult classes.
10. You haven’t experienced freshman year until:
- You’ve laid on your kitchen floor spouting nonsense to your roommates because you’ve taken one too many finals that day.
- You’ve saran wrapped a car or apartment.
- You’ve have wrestling matches with your roommates because you are THAT GOOD at procrastinating.
- You’ve watched an entire season of a TV show without doing a single homework assignment in between.