You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit

In elementary school, we were constantly reminded that “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” Whether that was referring to candy, recess time, or group assignments, it was always applicable and we lived by it. But have we forgotten? Have we become so concerned with always having the best that we don’t know how to be grateful anymore?

Dr. Brent W. Webb, BYU’s academic vice president, came and spoke to us last week. During the Q&A portion of his presentation, someone asked what the current generation of BYU students could improve on. Among other things, he said we are very entitled. Many professors complain that we expect to be given what we want or think we need. There was a slight tone of laughter as we all thought the same thing: it’s true. We’ve all gone to talk to professors about getting a better grade, we’ve all complained about the unfairness of an exam question or a grading rubric, and we’ve all been disappointed by a grade lower than what we thought we deserved. I’ve complained about school just as much as the next guy, but I would like to change that.

Not only is it ironic how much we complain about school when we are paying thousands of dollars every year for it and people all around the world would do anything to receive the quality of education we are given, we also miss the point when we have an “I deserve an A in every class and will accept nothing less” attitude. Of course, because this is BYU, there are those extremely intelligent and driven people who get a 4.0 while enrolled in Organic Chemistry and 17 other credits and running a service club and performing in choir etc. etc. But the fact is, most of us are not that person. I’m definitely not. Yesterday I studied for about 4.5 hours for a final (which I still bombed, welcome to college) and today I could physically feel my brain protesting in exhausted agony. (I’m not kidding – it feels like a swollen balloon that could pop at any moment).

So what am I saying? On the one hand, I don’t believe anyone should settle for mediocrity just because you can’t be the very best at everything. On the other hand, I don’t think we should be disappointed in ourselves when we study our guts out and don’t get the grades we want.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we should never compare our learning to someone else’s. When we are too worried about grades (I know, you want to get into your program, and I get that, but I’m talking in general here), it leads to a sense of entitlement. The only thing we are really entitled to from a college education is learning. And if you learn whatever it is that God wants you to learn, then you’re getting what you need and deserve. No amount of studying or organization can make up for a humble acceptance of the lessons life will teach you.

The only thing we are really entitled to from a college education is learning.

Of course, it’s exhilarating to walk out of a test confident that every answer was exactly what you studied and knew. It’s gratifying to see that a teacher was impressed with your essay or final project. And of course it’s encouraging when you’re at the top of your class. But while all that is good, what might be more important is learning to cope with disappointment and failure. Learning to say “I did my best for today and that’s all I could have done.” Learning to say “I didn’t do as well as I could have, and now I know what to do next time.” Learning to define yourself not by a number on a page, but by your character, your goodness, and your desire to be better.

I’m grateful for the marvelous things I am learning here at the Jerusalem Center, and what I have learned in general in my time at BYU. Though my grades may not reflect a worldly standard of greatness, I know that at the end of my life, I’ll be the person the Lord wants me to be. And that is all that matters.

“I get bad grades sometimes and I’m pretty socially awkward and I can’t keep a stable sleep/eating/exercise routine for more than 5 minutes and I was NOT blessed with the most amazing memory in the world, which has gotten me into some awkward situations before and I am very shy in the wrong situations and college is very very hard for me and in general things RARELY go according to plan in my life. But guess what? I am smiling anyway, cause why the heck not?!”